T.C. Conroy

Hello and Happy 2013!!

I want to start by saying how grateful I am to all of you, as my clients and my readers. You are a strong, courageous, unique group of individuals who choose not to take the easy path, as you regularly apply yourselves and do the the hard work that it takes to build foundation and be the best you that you can be. I acknowledge your efforts and I bask in the glow of your progress – I am honored to be a part of your support system and I look forward to coaching you in 2013. I want you to be strong, empowered, confident and happy in the New Year, so let’s get to it!

With the holidays falling mid-week last year, it made the start to the new year a bit of a slow one to congeal, let alone to gain momentum.  That said, I always encourage clients to take a moment to review the lessons of the past year before stepping into their goals and intentions for the next twelve months.  Best to learn the lesson on the first go around!

2012 left us with a lot to process – it was a year of internal and external transformation for all – relationships shifted and changed, many of us had to navigate the passing of a parent or a grandparent and everyone caught the flu. Then the year closed out with a storm called Sandy and a shooting of the same name that really got the collective moving.  It seems like we all had to walk through some sort of intense loss or release on some level, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual.

So process it through – what did you learn in 2012? How are you stronger today than you were this time last year? Take a moment to inventory this. Write your answers out on paper to drill it down and anchor it in so that you won’t have to do it again! This is part of your foundational build-out, which is SO important to cultivate. Having a foundation that’s jam packed with coping mechanisms and internal resources (which we all need just to live a happy life in this modern world that we’re all working so hard to thrive in!) will be integral to your success as we transition into 2013.

The 3 most important things I learned in 2012 are:

1. _________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________

Do you know how you will apply your new-found knowledge and experience moving forward? Got it? Good, now we can move on!

2013 is offering us a blank canvas – what do you want to create? 2013 promises to be a synergistic year packed with fresh, new, inspired ideas, synergy and Universal support.  In short, you get to create anything you want and I want you to dream BIG. I am here to support you as you step into a new way of being and a higher level of success, happiness and gratitude. You can be unstoppable, and I want all of that and more for you. Together, we can set the tone for the new year and get you started off right! I look forward to watching the magic of 2013 happen with this brilliant group of fearless and empowered co-creators.

If you want your life to change, then change it. Raising your standards is THE sure-fire way to effect positive change in your life, and it’s one of my favorite tools to use personally and in my coaching practice. Having high expectations of your own success and destiny is all well and good, but without the foundation of higher standards (and the work that goes into achieving that), it’s an empty shell. Hope is not enough – you must step up and CREATE by putting energy, time, effort and WORK into it.

Standards 

• Your standards are how you have chosen to behave
• The higher your standards, the better your life
• Doubling your standards makes a great game
• Match your standards to your personal needs
• Only set standards that fit right for today

When a person’s standards are too low

• Continue to operate “below the line” emotionally
• Self-esteem drops; self-worth is questioned
• Mediocrity reigns where excellence should be applied
• Apathy and victimization are ever present
• Experience a low hum of disappointment and low expectations

When a person has, and honors, high standards

• They feel very good about themselves and others too.
• They become irresistibly attractive to high-quality people.
• They don’t get near people or situations that cause problems
• They stay in their power physically, emotionally and spiritually
• Their life experience improves through their commitment to living a better life
• Acceptance replaces anger and thriving replaces treading water

If I asked you where you most need to improve by raising your standards, I’m sure you have an easy answer. You already know where your standards aren’t up to par. Don’t let working out the HOW of raising your standards slow you down.

Set an intention and call me – we will devise a program of raising your standards that is tailor-made for YOUR life as you ease into a new and better way of being. Don’t wait for some arbitrary date or deadline to step into your power and change, NOW is definitely the time. Call for a one-on-one coaching session.

Tender times as the Harvest Moon wells full in Pisces (water/ emotions) this weekend. Unless you are a Vulcan, robot or droid, you may be FEELING this one. It’s what you do with your feelings that matters. Resistance is futile, it only inflames suffering and stalls you out. Instead, try a  grow with the flow and follow the feeling approach or, when in deep waters, become a diver.  Trust yourself and dig down deep. You have to go THROUGH the feeling if you want to break on through to the other side. – #feelingit

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Your soul wants to grow!

I hope you had wonderful summer filled with sunshine and good times.

As summer folds gently into fall, (Fall Equinox is at 8:49 AM Mountain Daylight Time September 22nd) our focus often changes as well.

Many of us find ourselves taking stock of the year by making a mental inventory of our accomplishments and what we have achieved so far.  Otherwise we look at what we meant to get done and have stalled out on — or worse, haven’t even started yet.  Some of us find ourselves standing smack dab at the karmic crossroads (scary) of choice and change.

Regardless of the form in which it arrives, it seems as if the Universe is inviting us all to evolve.  This is where your personal foundation kicks in.

• How confident are you in making choices?
• How good are you at navigating change?
• Are you operating in your strength and power or are you stalled out in fear of making the wrong choices for yourself?
• Do you have fear of success/fear of failing?

So here we are wanting to get off the dime but wondering which way to go.  Do you step boldly into the new or stay the comfortable course repeating the same old habits and patterns that lead us to the same old frustrating destination?  I say screw your comfort zone, let’s grab the lessons from your experience thus far and jump boldly into the new.  If you have some outdated patterning that’s preventing you from doing this, identify it and eradicate it.  Let it go. As much as the Universe is inviting (demanding) that we evolve, it is also supporting us in clearing and cleaning our old outdated relationships or ways of being. Now is the time to become a new, more courageous and powerful YOU.

How, you might ask.

1. Drill down your truth.  Define your destination. What do you want (exactly)?
2. Find and sustain your center.  In order to make powerful choices we must choose from our truth not our fear.
3. Get clear on what (fear) is keeping you stuck.
4. How will it feel when you arrive there?  We attract and manifest according to the way we feel – if you can feel it you can create it.
5. Get support.  Hire a coach a therapist or a personal trainer, whatever it takes.  If you can’t afford it, work out a trade of services.
6. Trust.  Let go, surrender to your process and believe that you will arrive at your destination.  Focus on it and step closer to it every day.
7. Learn to allow.  Open up and let the good stuff in.

We are all, each and every one of us, at that pivotal turning point.  I support you in taking complete responsibility for yourself while rising to the occasion, being your most powerful self, and making the necessary changes that will lead you to your happiness.

This Friday, November 11^th, or 11.11.11, the primary energies of the master number 11 will be repeated 3 times, 11-11-11.

At 11am GMT, there will be a magnificent gathering of Universal energies. Some believe it will be the most powerful influx of light the Earth has EVER (and that’s a minute) experienced.

I like to call it The Love Wave.

11.11.11 represents an unprecedented opportunity for all of us to connect to our Universal divine love energy and to assist in anchoring the vibration of love into the planet Earth in a rare and intensified way.

11.11.11 is a portal of divine energy of Supreme Love that is meant to open up and cascade over the Earth and all of her inhabitants.  We get to help anchor that energy by allowing it to process through us. We are the conduits of the Love Wave, baby. Wow, did I just say that?

This is an unparalleled calling to mankind, speaking directly to those of you who have the desire to move into the next phase of enlightenment.

The 11.11.11 energy is the next big wave before the final 2012 shift. The promise of 11.11.11 and 2012 is a great shifting in humanities consciousness, an upgrade and uplifting of energies, that will facilitate a raising of our collective and individual consciousness moving us from being fear based creators into creating from a place of love. Once we have expanded our capacity to hold this divine energy, we will more easily move into the new 2012/Fifth Dimension frequencies.

So, How do you add your energy to the Love Wave?

You have the opportunity to add to the Love Wave by coming together for one hour, beginning on November 11^th at 11:11 GMT. Gather in a group or meditate alone sit with your focus upon your heart and allow yourself to breathe into the truth of your being, feeling, sensing or simply acknowledging your vibration of truth while you connect with the one great love in your heart place your positive and appropriate intentions into the collective mind, you may also ask that any fears, insecurities and outdated pattering be released from your field, let your soul soar.  Congratulations, you are now dancing on the great Love Wave into a powerful new time of Compassion based unity consciousness.

Even if you are unable or unwilling to wake up at 11am GMT, you may still work with the 11.11.11 energy. What do you want to add to the collective?

You can add to the collective at any time by thinking of 11.11.11 and communicating your thoughts, meditations, positive intentions and good will. Communicate your contribution and state clearly your desire for Earth and humanity.

When we add our energy, and our love and ideals for the planet Earth into to this conscious collective, we are participating in aiding of all of humanity and planet Earth herself in taking it to the next level. This is the next collective leap forward in evolution.

This is no small thing.

The faith of one true believer holds the energy of a thousand.

Hello and happy summer solstice,

I had a cathartic experience last week when I wrapped and dashed out of a group workshop I was facilitating in a rush to see a rock concert in a graveyard (I love Hollywood).

Our workshop subject for the evening was defining your personal power and operating from that place all of the time. I was instantly teleported from a rich conversation about connecting to and sustaining ONE’S personal power, to standing under a full moon amongst hundreds of gravesites thinking about the fragility of life. Talk about juxtaposition: a full production (huge life) Flaming LIPS show blazing through the headstones and mausoleums.

To say that the contrast was surreal would be a major understatement. This got me thinking about death, the full moon, the summer solstice and our rare triad of eclipses (more on eclipses below). In that moment, it was impossible to ignore how important it is for us to live every moment to ITS fullest.

This summer solstice is no ordinary solstice, this solstice  is a rare catalyst for every area of your life, and is a prolific energetic depository  of  empowerment,

You may have noticed that the energies are intensified and the status quo no longer applies. We are in the energies leading up to 2012 and the shift of a new age.

What does this mean to you and how can you navigate all of this intense change?

Anchor in your power, NOW.

The great news is, during the summer solstice, our life force is at ITS maximum, we also have the support of three eclipses and a grand cross this summer.   You  can utilize this once in a lifetime energy to upgrade your internal operating system and anchor in your power.

How do you do it?

Look inward: GET honest with yourself around what’s working in your life and what is no longer serving you.  Heal what you need to heal, release what you need to release and restructure what you need to restructure. You must be willing to do the work.  Here are some overall steps to get you moving in the right direction.

10 TIPS on owning your Personal Power

1. Define what personal power means to you.
2. Foster an awareness (feel it) of when you are operating from your power and when you are not.
3. Make the commitment be your most powerful self in everything you do.
4. Recognize what takes you out of your power.
5. Give yourself permission to own your power and be powerful.
6. Choose love and faith over fear.
7. Remember that you are never alone.
8. Connect with your universal supports.
9. Be true to yourself (be happy).
10. Remember that the more powerful you are, the more you may be of service to others.

The powerful mid-year “Eclipse-TRIADS” occur on:

I know that two of these dates have already PASSED, but the energy of any eclipse builds for MONTHS prior and vibrates months after, so the window is still open for you to work with these energies.

(1) June 1   (2) June 15   (3) July 1.

The three occur exactly 15 days apart. We have two partial solar eclipses, sandwiching a full moon lunar eclipse. Barely enough breathing room, so get ready for a powerful ride. All of this is punctuated by the aforementioned extremely powerful Solstice on June 21st. Whilst the two ‘outer eclipses’ of the Triad are partial solar, do not think that their energies are lessened by the fact that they are not full eclipses. THE energy of all 3 will be extremely potent and felt by the entire planet, whether visible or not from your specific vector on the planet. The energy will encircle the globe and affect each of you.

The June 1st lunar eclipse is the beginning, and truly the energy of each of these events has an intersecting field that expands energetically from 3 days prior and 3 days after the eclipse.

The Energies:

The energy pattern of the Triad is around release, healing and reconstruction.

June 1: Release and cleansing, release of old energy patterns. Patterns that may be ingrained, even hidden.

June 15: Healing through acceptance of Facing the Challenge, and being true to SELF.

July 1: Strength and Completion of the ‘New You’. Not only visualizing the attributes and events you wish to create, but taking requisite actions and step forward to manifest them.

I understand that these are high concepts and huge shifts.  I know it’s easy to look at a list like this and feel overwhelmed. THAT’S why I am here to coach you through the process.

We are currently living in one of the most exciting times of transformation humanity has ever gone through,  this is the next leap in evolution.  You don’t have to walk this path alone (you are never alone). You are always free to contact me directly for some formal coaching or just a friendly push in the right direction.

May the summer of 2011 be positively transformative for you.

Love and blessings,

T.C. Conroy

I felt like things were generally going better since my coaching sessions had started.  I had made that huge communication breakthrough with my mom and applied it to other relationships.  I learned about expectations and boundaries.  I had learned how to self-care and really had the chance to put it into affect with the passing of my horse.  But as I recovered from this grief, I was realizing another pattern in my life that I wanted to fix.

As I once mentioned way back in the beginning of these blogs, I am fabulous at interviews.  I feel like I make great first impressions.  I can be outgoing, exciting, interesting—I know all the small talk questions to ask to draw people out and engage them…however, then once I’ve got them hooked, I fall flat.  I often get hired for jobs based on my personality – this outgoing, exciting persona I convey, that I do feel is really true to myself, but somehow once I get the job, I freeze up.  Then I get insecure.  Am I really the right fit for this job? Am I going to be able to write the articles in the style they want? Am I going to say and act in a way that will build camaraderie with my colleagues or isolate me from them? My insecurities cause me to go into a shell and actually shut down, and ultimately, work to isolate me and destroy the great foundation I started.  It can take two or three months for me to get comfortable enough in a new job to come out of this shell and start being outgoing and fun again, and often by then, it’s too late for good impressions.

This not only happens with jobs, it happens in other areas of my life.  Friendships, relationships.  People that I care very much about, I can first impress, but then when I realize how much I like them and that they have given me that chance to be in their life, I freeze up.  This happened when I first met Jess and almost killed our relationship before it could blossom.  I’d heard of getting insecurities about first meetings, but mine is almost the opposite.  I do great at first meetings, but then when I realize I’m committed, that’s when the insecurities strike.

I talked about this confusing problem with TC and she immediately had some good suggestions.  She told me she wanted me to start working on an exercise.  “It doesn’t have to be perfect right away,” she said.  “Just try to remember it, and think about it, and the more you think about it the more you’ll be able to put it into practice.”  She wanted me to stay focused on the present moment.  She said she thought a lot of my problem was that instead of listening to the conversation at hand, or being myself in the present moment, I was constantly over-analyzing my behavior.  For example, “what’s the appropriate response to this?” “What can I say that will make me sound cool?” “What’s the right article to pitch that’ll prove I’m a good reporter?” Whereas in fact, if I just stayed in the present moment and blocked out these insecure voices, my ideas and responses were already cool.  Being perfect, really, was as simple as not being insecure.

I started putting this into practice and immediately noticed a difference.  I wasn’t necessarily able to change my behavior right away, but just being aware of it made a difference.  Often time during conversations with people I would notice that instead of focusing on what they were saying and being in the present moment, I would be drifting off into my voices of insecurities…”what’s the appropriate response to say to this?…How should I respond to that?” It was really silly, because of course I could already naturally respond more than appropriately and it was nothing to worry about.  Once I recognized that I was doing this, I was able more and more to put those voices aside, and snap myself back to being in the present moment – listening to the conversation that was taking place, and just responding as myself, naturally, and as such, much more impressively.

No sooner was the Christmas merchandise moved over to the half off rack, but Valentine’s Day rolled out for all to buy.  Over the past month and a half everything seems to have taken on a pink and red heart-shaped hue.  it’s official, Saint Valentine’s Day is unavoidable (at least in the drug store).

I’m a lover of love, and a believer that love is boundless and immeasurable.

Valentine’s Day primarily represents intimate love and unfortunately this seems to leave many of us feeling dissatisfied. In the event you are in a great relationship that’s brimming with trust and love these universal truths still apply but I’m really reaching out to those of you who feel like you are suffering because you are alone. If you find yourself alone, without a lover or going through a breakup Valentine’s Day can become another day to be survived.

Instead of devaluing the magnitude of love and it’s infinite possibilities by celebrating with unmet expectations and obligatory boxes of chocolate, I would much prefer Saint Valentine give love it’s due by becoming a celebration of the infinite energy of love.  But I’m not in charge, so I am writing to remind you that you don’t need a partner or GF or BF to feel love.

I want to help you re-frame your definition of love and shift the way you go about creating and attracting love into your life.

I want to help you re-frame the way you experience love.

What is love?

Love is the creative sustaining force that drives the universe.

Love is sheer power.

Love is everything, love is everywhere.

There is no lack when it comes to love, there is only love.

Love is infinite, it is always there for us to tap into, always present, always abundant.

Please remember this on Valentine’s Day. Don’t think small when it comes to love.  Set a strong intention, make a commitment to rise above the banality of the desire to drop into self-pity.  As opposed to focusing on what you think you don’t have focus on – celebrating the energy of love and all of it’s abundance.  Give yourself love.  Give your friends and family love.  Be wealthy when it comes to love, and love will return to you tenfold.

Love is everything.  There is nothing else.  Live this truth and you will never be alone.

My want for you is that you can anchor in these universal truths.  Master the art of generating love from the inside out, so you never have to experience lack when it comes to the subject of love.  There are many pieces to this puzzle but you can start to feel better immediately when you remember that you are not alone.  The universe is filled with love (not the drugstore kind).  It is always there for you, all you have to do is shift your perspective of love an change the way you generate, receive and give love.

After my so successful breakthrough with my mom I was flying high the rest of the week.  Now confident in my new tools, I applied them to everything! I re-evaluated my expectations with all my relationships – and realized I was being unrealistic in a lot of them.

I had been feeling somewhat glum about not getting 100% of Jess’s time and energy like I had been during the summer.  Well of course, I still had summer expectations.  It was now into the school year and he was dealing with an overload of coursework and classes.  Really, he was giving me every free moment he had, and didn’t have.  Once I realized this and changed my expectations about how much time we were going to spend together every day, it’s like things got better over night.  I was also excited about my other new tools of communication.  I don’t know if I was actually using them a lot, or if I was just so ready to use them at the soonest opportunity and it gave me this newfound confidence that just made things work.  I was on a roll.  I thought the expectations idea was such an awesome tool I applied it to my other friends too! Who was I frustrated with? Why? Well, some friends it was because I felt like I had to put on an actwith, and it was draining.  I expected to meet up with them and have it use up my energy.  Well, that was totally my fault.  I needed to change how I viewed those relationships.  Other friends, it was that I never got to see them, and I had started expecting that they just didn’t have the time for me.  Again, that was my preconceived expectations, generated without me actually trying to do anything about changing the situation from my own behavior.  Maybe I could approach them differently, or even bring up that this was bothering me, with these new non-aggressive-but-to-the-point coaching tools I’d learned!

I had a really good week.  It seemed like everything was falling into place for me.  This coaching stuff was really working!

Then my horse I’d had for fourteen years died without warning over night.

The world came crashing down again.

Detaunt was a very wise Arabian gelding.  He was 11 days older than me and I’d been born 11 days late.  I got him when we were both 12, and he’d kind of helped raise me.  He’d always been another strong, masculine figure in my life.  He died without warning, we think probably of something like a heart attack.  He was older, but he could have easily lived another 10 or 15 years.  He was in great shape.  Just a couple days before I’d taken him for a trail ride out in the mountains and we’d galloped and trotted and everything, and he was great.  Even just the night before, the barn owner and her daughter had been playing with him and he’d been fine.  He’d eaten his dinner, and then just gone outside and it looked like just laid down and died.  There was no sign of a struggle, as there so often is with horse deaths, so it looked like everything was very quick and painless.  It was the best possible of what it could be, but it was still shocking, and sad.

I canceled everything that I had going on that week.  Before anyone else, I let Jess, TC, and my mom know.  They were my main supports.  Because of my work the week before, I could now rely on my mom again for the first time in years, to truly support me when I really needed it.  It’s funny how the universe works sometimes.  Jess called me, made time for me, and was there for me in more ways than I could imagine.  My mom got in her car and drove three hours through a snowstorm in the mountains to come and be there for me.  I texted my other friends, and anyone who’d known Detaunt to let them know, and I got lots of text messages and voicemails back, but I didn’t want to see or talk to anybody else.

I felt like I’d gone back to square one.  Later, I talked with TC and she pointed out how I hadn’t.  I was using my coaching tools, even in this time of crisis.  Especially in this time of crisis.  I went into intensive self-care mode.

TC had challenged me before, that when I felt sad, instead of putting it aside or medicating it, to be brave enough to really let myself feel that pain, and that sadness.  “What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” she asked.  “I guess that I cry until I fall asleep,” I replied.  “And then I’d wake up in the morning and feel better, because I’d gotten it out instead of locking it away.”

Locking emotion away was what I had been doing for the last year.  My dad’s major stroke had meant that I’d had to be his number one caregiver, organize his life, and be his emotional support.  I hadn’t had time, space, or reprieve to feel my emotions.  Now that I had moved back into my own apartment and had some space and time to myself, I had to learn how to again.

TC pointed out that I did not, in fact, go back to square one when Detaunt died.  In fact, she was proud of how I self-cared.

I canceled everything I was doing that week.  I stayed in my room and cried.  I cried a lot.  The only people I saw were my mom, for the day she was down, and Jess.  Friends called really wanting to meet me for lunch or coffee, and instead of making excuses like I might have done before, I told them the truth.  I was honest, but firm.  “My horse I’d had for fourteen years just died, and I’m worn out emotionally.  Maybe I can meet you next week, but not this week.”  I didn’t go to cafes.  I didn’t go to bars.  I laid low and really tried to meet TC’s challenge.  When I’d feel the pain coming, I really tried to let myself feel it.  I think I did well.

Later in the week I went back out to the barn and brought some flowers to put on Detaunt’s grave.  It would be a long process, but I was slowly recovering, and feeling better.  I still didn’t want to see anyone else though.  But that was okay.  Maybe next week…

What felt really good was that I was being true to myself.

Life Coach T.C. Conroy’s T-10 Tips For  Success in 2011

With the acceleration and scope of change that has been taking place over the past few years, most of us are feeling beat up, beat down and in a state of (what’s next) long term overwhelm.  I am here to remind you with great change comes great opportunity.

This is my T-10 list for beating the recession blues, setting strong intentions and becoming a richer human being.  I hope it energizes and inspires you to stop waiting for permission and step into your personal power.

Celebrate the new decade by intending your greatness in 2011.

It’s not about the money. Everything on this list is FREE the only cost to you is your willingness and dedication (intention) the ROI knows no limit.

Wishing you a Happy New Year, Happy New Decade!

T.C. Conroy

1. Identify your true values – If the recession has taught us nothing I hope it has reminded you what is truly important and valuable to you and yours. Live your life according to your true values and you will be a happier person.

2. Connect to the power of your intentions – You are a powerful creator.  You create with every thought you think, every word you speak and every feeling that you feel when you believe in your own power and live in it’s truth you can exert your power to achieve your greatness.

3. Anchor in the lessons from the past decade -You can not get to where you are going without acknowledging where you have been.  Sit down and write out all of the life changing lessons you have learned in the past ten years so you don’t forget and have to learn them twice.

4. Let go of judgment – Judgment creates division.

Practice non-judgment and acceptance with every person place and thing that crosses your path.  With consistency you will be amazed at how liberating this is.

Set the intention to greet every person place and thing with love and compassion not judgment.

5. Cancel the pity party – Victim energy does NOT serve you in any way.  It keeps you stuck and it grantees your failure. Learn to rise above and let go of the part of you that wants’ to be victimized. Take responsibility for everything that shows up in your life, this is where your true power resides.

6. Open your heart – We are bombarded by fear based thoughts and feelings that shut us down.  You can open your heart with this simple meditation – place the index and middle finger of your left hand over your heart and smile allow your fears and insecurities to melt away.  You can’t help but feel better.  Do this meditation for two or three minutes a day and build from there.

7. Unplug and Connect – unplug from the non stop stimulation that we are assaulted with every day.  Power down your electronics and connect to your self.  Take pause long enough to hear the voice inside of your head, feel your feelings connect to yourself.  Your power resides on the inside from that connection send your intentions out into the world.

8. Visualize yourself as prosperous, luminous, healthy, and full of peace, joy and success. If you BELIEVE that you are, you will be.

9. State your intention before your feet hit the floor- Your thoughts words and feeling all have incredible power behind them, make the choice to use them well by intending your actions each day before you get out of bed in the morning.

10. You deserve it, learn to receive – you can ask all you want and you may even successfully manifest.   The very thing you are asking for may show up right in front of you but you will fall short if you are not open to receiving because you feel on some level that you don’t deserve what you are asking for.

11. The Universe is abundant, it knows no bounds when you practice abundance you too will be limitless.

Learning Self-Care:

The next day was Monday, and our official scheduled phone session.  That morning was a disaster for me.  These apartments can lock from the inside, which creates a problem when you’re especially scatterbrained like I was feeling.  I had an appointment at 10am, but ran out of the apartment leaving the keys on the kitchen counter, and locking the door behind me.  As soon as I was outside I realized what I’d done.  My apartment and car keys are all on the same ring, so I couldn’t even drive to my appointment and then figure out what to do.  Luckily I still had my phone, so I was able to google a locksmith to come let me back in, but this took over an hour until they even got out.  I had to cancel my appointment, and the locksmith let me back into my apartment at 11:58, precisely two minutes to spare before my phone appointment with TC.

So of course I was still a little frazzled when I called her.  I told her about my hectic morning.  It just seemed like a continuation of Sunday’s chaos.  “I just don’t know what’s going on with me and mornings anymore,” I said.

Well, TC did.  “You need to slow down, and take care of yourself,” she said.  “This is a sign.  You being this scatterbrained, starting to forget things and feeling frazzled like you are, this means you’re not taking care of yourself, and it’s wearing you out.  The number one lesson I want you to take away from today’s session is self-care.  And this lends itself to other things that you want to work on as well.  Once you’re taking care of yourself properly, you feel good.  When you feel good, you have more self confidence.  When you have more self confidence you are naturally more assertive.  Do you understand where I’m going with this?”

Yes, of course, now that she said it, it made perfect sense.  We went over the Tolerations Checklist that she’d given me the previous week, and I had been filling out.  I was surprised how many tolerations I’d already taken care of.  I’d told my friend kindly, but assertively that I needed to be left alone for a while and she’d understood.  I’d told my other friend to stop making snide comments if he wanted to stay my friend, and he apologized.  I’d been giving myself more time and space to myself, and so on.

“So now you’ve located the cracks in your teacup, and you’re repairing them, so your life energy doesn’t keep draining out.”

Sure, this made sense.  I have to take care of myself before I can feel strong enough to protect my standards and boundaries, or even take care of other people.

“So your homework for this week is taking care of yourself,” TC told me.  “This is your exercise this week.  Whatever you do, before you do it, ask yourself first: is this going to drain my energy, or give me energy? With everything you do.”

Our hour was up, and I hung up thinking this was going to be slightly challenging for me, but good.  As I mentioned previously, I had been brought up by a very 50’s house-wife style mom.  Though she tried to have me turn out without that baggage, independent and modern and all that, of course she couldn’t help passing those old 50’s habits on to me.  So I was very used to thinking about and helping other people.  But myself? Down to measuring each activity I do on whether it will make me feel good or not? However, this was obviously something I didn’t know how to do, and it would be good for me.  As TC had explained, taking care of myself was the first step that came before anything else.  Confidence, or assertiveness, or taking control of my life, or anything that I wanted to work on.  So I better start learning how to do it.

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